my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
