I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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