I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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