it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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