Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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