i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
