im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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