My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
