What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
