Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
