You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
