Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
