im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
