Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize