I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
