how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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