You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
