you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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