Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize