You're so nebulous sometimes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
