i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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