Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize