I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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