Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
