He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
