Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
