Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
