i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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