did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize