i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
