No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
