It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
