Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize