U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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