normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
