I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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