the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
