My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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