My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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