Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
