By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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