Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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