She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
