Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
