The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
