Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
