i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
