i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
