So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
