The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
