so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
