Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
