Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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