I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
