when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
