Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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