the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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