so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize