I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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