its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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