I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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