I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize