tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
