i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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