Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
