I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
